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Target golfing

Target golfing
Robert's wanted to do this for awhile

Saturday, July 21, 2012

pai

I'M OK,so why don't I feel ok. My husband has been in hospitals 3 Thursdays running.First was to remove the 3rd bladder tumor he' had in 4 years. He spent 1 hour with his bladder full of chemo.  I couldn't be there.My stupid job hadn't hit the year mark and if I had taken a day off, I could have been fired.  And I'm carrying the health insurance for us.  Luckily, Le & Ly were able to be there for him.  The following Thursday he finally had that Dmmmm carcinod removed from his sinus.  It's been there for years apparently, the Dr's term was "grossly deviated septum" It was over 5cm but it must be benign, as a week & 1/2 later the "tumor panel" cannot decided if it's enough threat to need a follow-up chemo or radiation. We know that radiation will cause cataracts 2 1/2 years later, we are going to tell the Dr, "No Thanks"  Because of the 2 surgeries a week apart, R was on heavy duty pain killers for 2 weeks running and the third week we were in the emergency room. Robert was impacted, he was unable to pass ANYTHING. They cathed him, the cath didn't come out till the following Monday.  Then they tried several concoctions as well as an enema and "digital manipulation" (that has nothing to do with a computer"  Nothing was happening and they literally kicked us out of the hospital.  We came home and I brewed him a cup of "Smooth Move" tea and an hour later "the dam" burst.  I couldn't get him to take the tea earlier.You'd have to ask him why.
Meanwhile, Lo calls me the 2nd Thursday to tell me that she wouldn't be coming to see her dad. Her DH got tossed off his bike on the way to work, busted up his shoulder, he looked like hamburger on knee & elbows when I saw him a few days later.  Then Jo announces he's lost his job.  He has an offer now, but it's in SLC, that a long drive away from his family.  Meanwhile, Le was 13 days over due when they decided to go for a birth.  2 painful exhausting days later she gives birth to a beautiful boy.  Nearly an angel except for a repairable clef lip, Just the lip, but oh my his eyes are glorious.  I've met his face before, but I can't decide if I'm looking at one of my sons or my father.  Then my wonderful daughter-in-law takes a fall a work and totally crunches her wrist.  A plate & 7 screws later, she's in a cast for 2 weeks and while I would have love to take their  2 year old off their hands, I'm too darn old to take her on with 3 other grandkidlings.  I take the Saturday off to go to the Ren fair on a 90 degree day and my feet hurt so bad, but we had fun.  I come home to find Ly w/ car troubles, and I can't help her at all.  Prius is beyond anything I understand.  I don't understand hybred.  Meanwhile the LA saga continues.  Those loons won't do what my parents expected us all to do.  SHARE. FAIRLY.  Everyone claims they did it all, no one will see we all had a hand.  LU washed, I dried, Jo broke. Still at it.  That was my foot that ended up with the steak knife sticking out of my big toe in Buena Park as I was unloading the ugly old dishwasher. Dad told the story many times about how I let the rototiller get away from me and that's why the back fence didn't fall during any earth quakes, and why I call the rototiller in my back yard, MY rototiller.  I put up that mirrored wall in the living room.  It was my knee cap that broke while we were taking  wallpaper off the kitchen wall.  I'll be decorating a daughters wedding cake, one more time, just like Mom taught me in her kitchen so that we could build a wedding cake for another wedding that we catered, and I never got paid for the hours I put into mom's "catering company"  No, that was household money.  The same household money that paid for mom's fancy diamond ring.  How many Saturday's did I completely have the kitchen cleaned. And how many Saturday's did that kitchen look like a disaster area 6 hours later, and I still had to put 1 or 3 hours on the piano, depending upon the season.  But, I only learned piano so I could play for church, or so dad said.  Little did he know.  How many walls did I paint.  I know I did the living room at least twice.  Weeds pulls? Truck loads, despite the rose thorns. I fed 5 kids, well, because Mom insisted I cook, how many chocolate applesauce cakes have I made?   My daughters are making Chili Relish, with relish. I've got mom's recipes.  Ro loves Dad bread stick recipe, makes the best pizza dough.  No I'm not Ok, I feel abused, worn out, tired and very frustrated, and not a darn thing I can do about it.

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