http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F70A17F73D5A15738DDDAD0A94DE405B878CF1D3

I am having a hard time believing the story is real.....but it is the New York Times.
Dad used to tell this as a joke, and the line was "Lower me down easy boys."
I was so proud of my brothers.  At my father's grave site, I knew it had to be said, but before I could even finish the word "Lower" my brother's chimed right in.  I knew Dad was laughing right beside us.  And when that eagle took off from the hill just the other side of the road at the first notes of the trumpet,  my heart knew he was pleased.
I still can't believe I finally found it. And it's posted as an event, not a joke.

Bell Family Photos

Found these again while I was cleaning house and figured I'd better get them perserved. My mother told me who they were, but didn't tell me more than that. Anyone know any more?

I need to tell a joke.Two old ladies meet on the street. It's been years since they've seen each other. "Oh my, so good to see you, how you been" goes the conversations.  The first one, out to impress, starts " Oh what a wonderful several years it's been I saw you last. My husband went back to school and became a doctor. The second gal say "Fantastic" "My son decided to follow in his footsteps, but decided to specialize in brain surgery and is one the nations finest neuro-surgeons.  "Fantastic!"  "My daughter decided that the theater was her calling and she' right now on Broadway, preparing to open a new show."  "Fantastic"  "And I've been so busy with my charity work and fund raising, I barely have time to visit" "Fantastic"  "And what have you been doing?"

Second gal says"I've been going to charm school where I've been learning to say Fantastic instead of B*&^$S)(*^%"

Pearly Gate Joke 2

The pope dies and is met at the new pearly gates by Saint Peter who's still a bit flustered and unsettled, and has to confess to the pope "Sir, I'm sorry, we had a rather interesting day and have not had the time to get your mansion ready, The biggest problem is that we couldn't decide the best way to thank you for all good work you did.  We thought we'd ask you what you would like to do for your eternities."

The pope says "I've always wanted to read the original scriptures in the original forms.  The scrolls, the tablets, would that be possible?"  

Saint Peter smiles and says "Of course, we just put your name on the heavenly library, let me show you the way."  Saint Peter leads the way to the library and settles the pope in with all the books and such around him, with a promise to check back in with him in a few hours, and leaves the pope to his joy.

Several hours later Saint Peter returns to library and finds the pope, with his head down on table, crying. He'd obviously been crying for quite some time as the floor around him wet with tears.  Alarmed, Saint Peter runs up to the Pope and asks, "Sir, what's wrong, what happened, what did you see?"  The Pope looks up and with a tear streaked face say "THE WORD IS CELEBRATE!"

 

I need to preserve my favorite "Pearly Gate" Jokes
37 East Los Angeleans show up at the pearly gates.  A bus had fallen off San Pedro Pier Saint Peter finds himself at a loss as what to do, so he asks them all to wait and moment and hussles off to the big throne.  "Ah, Sir, Ah, there are 37 East Los Angeleans at the gates and I'm not sure what to do with them.  The Good Lord looks down and smiles.  "Let them in, I have a special project I need their help with."  Saint Peter heads back to the gates, but he's back at the Big Throne less than a few moments later. "Sir, they're gone"  "The Los Angeleans?"  "No, Sir, the Pearly Gates"

Another joke pops up
A big mouth frog walks up to a mama giraffe and asks "Hey Mama Giraffe, what do you feed your baby" Mama giraffe looks down and politely replies "Oh, the finest youngest leaves from the top of the trees"  The big mouth frogs say "OH Really?"  and hops on his way.  He comes to Mama Hippo and asks "Hey Mama Hippo, what do you feed your baby?" Mama Hippo softly says "The soft reeds and grasses from the bottom of the river" "Oh Really"  and hops on his way. He comes to the river and sees Mama Alligator "Hey Mama Alligator, what do you feed your baby?" Mama Alligator says "Oh, big mouth frogs"
Our little frog says "Oh really"