I think I shall rant a bit.
Some SD idiot has announced that it's OK to partake of caffeine if you LDS. What kind of madness is this?   When are people going to learn CAFFEINE IS A DRUG!! And a dangerous one at that.  I tried to heart attack at 27 when I had my second child and the doctor prescribed a caffeine look-alike to help the pain meds get into my blood stream faster.  That's what caffeine does. Accelerates your heart rate.  Guess who is clinically allergic to it?   And people feed to little kids and wonder why they don't do well in school? 
Let's look at the facts. Joseph Smith drank tea.  Herbal Tea.  Everyone in that day and age did. Why?  Care to guess the quality of the water?  LOUSY!! Water purification?  What is that?   Everyone new if they drank pond water they could and usually did get sick.  40 to 50 year lifespan was normal. Germs were all over and not boiling water made people ill.  Boiled water, plain, tastes lousy.  Throw a few leaves into it, add a bit of root or bark, hey, this stuff tastes pretty good.  Add a bit of honey? even better.  Drink it hot? Are you kidding?  #1 it burns!  I lived with a lady on my mission who had no taste buds.  Burnt them out of on hot coffee.  She was the skinniest person I ever met.  Eating held no joy and she often forgot to do it.  Try putting a piece of meat into a cup of HOT water and guess what you get. COOKED MEAT.  Guess what happens to your tongue, throat and stomach lining when it gets repeatedly hit with HOT water.  You are, after all made of "meat"
#2 If you take hot water and bits and pieces and then drink, why did you put the bits and pieces it.  If the water is still hot, there's no flavor from the bits in the water AND NOT OF THE BENEFITS EITHER!.   There is a lot of good in those leaves, bark and root.  Don't believe me, try making a tea with catnip, oh plan to do it on a day when you rest, cause you won't want to do anything else for several hours.  It's a muscle relaxant.  God put those plants on this planet for our benefit, and then we toss them aside for a manufactured stimulant.  Whatcha gonna do when you get to the other side and find out God don't make caffeine. 
One of the main reasons we are here is to try and be like HIM.  How going to do that when you're so hyped up you can't think straight.  I thought LDS people were suppose to rise above the world, in the world but not of it.  What's next?  Whose re-thinking homosexually?  It's a darn slipperly slope and guess whose busy greasing it.
Me? NO CAFFINE NO CODINE, NO LOOKALIKES. WE MEAN IT!!

One of my dad's favorites.
The preacher has chosen to preach on the need to have no enemies and goes on, quoting this scripture and that to bring his point home.  He's well into his surgery and the need to make friends with everyone and to helps his point get across the thunders across the congregation "I need to know if there is anyone here in this family of friends that can honestly say they have no enemies, I need to have some one rise to their feet and tell us how they have come to the point in their life that all around them are friends, that hey have no one they hate. I need that person to rise to their feet and teach us all how it is done."  WAY in the back old brother Jones rises to his feet (takes a couple of moments to get there, I did say OLD brother Jones) and he says "Reverend, I ain't got no enemies."
"WONDERFUL, brother Jones, tell us all how you did that"
"I OUTLIVED THEM ALL"

Don't think that was what the Rev was after.


LL

Another joke came to mind.

Dr. Christian Bernard, who pioneered heart replacement surgery told this one on himself, and it's one of my favorites.
When you open a patient up to replace a heart, you only have about 6 hours to get the new heart in and wasting no time is critical.  As he was getting ready to install a new heart, he put his hand out of the "cat-gut" It's what they still call surgical suture material, I understand it really was cat intestine years ago (Let us sing praises for better technology) and was handed a "wad" of knots.  Not happy at all he starts "attacking" the wad to untangle it, muttering $#@@%& under his breath.  His surgical nurse asks. "may I help? Doctor" to which he replies " NO THANK YOU. I've been a surgeon for 20 years, I ought to be able to do this" and back to "#@%$^&#$#" A moment later the surgery nurse gentle takes it from his hand and twists that and tugs that and the whole mess untangles in her hand.  She smiles and hands it back and he asks, no to politely "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" She replies "I've been doing embroidery for 40 years"  

Cruising the web one day.  I cannot believe what I found http://www.twirlgoround.com/
My parents bought one of the ages ago.  We called in the Whirley-gig.  We only had the two man version, but oh my the hours we spend on it.  It was blue and red and got rusty as the years went by, but we rode it to death.  I don't recall any of us hurling on it, but I believe one of the cousins or two did.  They don't make an adult version, yet.  Can't help thinking it would a great exercise and gotta wonder if you could use it to generate power.  It's nice to have a childhood memory my sibs havn't tainted.

pai

I'M OK,so why don't I feel ok. My husband has been in hospitals 3 Thursdays running.First was to remove the 3rd bladder tumor he' had in 4 years. He spent 1 hour with his bladder full of chemo.  I couldn't be there.My stupid job hadn't hit the year mark and if I had taken a day off, I could have been fired.  And I'm carrying the health insurance for us.  Luckily, Le & Ly were able to be there for him.  The following Thursday he finally had that Dmmmm carcinod removed from his sinus.  It's been there for years apparently, the Dr's term was "grossly deviated septum" It was over 5cm but it must be benign, as a week & 1/2 later the "tumor panel" cannot decided if it's enough threat to need a follow-up chemo or radiation. We know that radiation will cause cataracts 2 1/2 years later, we are going to tell the Dr, "No Thanks"  Because of the 2 surgeries a week apart, R was on heavy duty pain killers for 2 weeks running and the third week we were in the emergency room. Robert was impacted, he was unable to pass ANYTHING. They cathed him, the cath didn't come out till the following Monday.  Then they tried several concoctions as well as an enema and "digital manipulation" (that has nothing to do with a computer"  Nothing was happening and they literally kicked us out of the hospital.  We came home and I brewed him a cup of "Smooth Move" tea and an hour later "the dam" burst.  I couldn't get him to take the tea earlier.You'd have to ask him why.
Meanwhile, Lo calls me the 2nd Thursday to tell me that she wouldn't be coming to see her dad. Her DH got tossed off his bike on the way to work, busted up his shoulder, he looked like hamburger on knee & elbows when I saw him a few days later.  Then Jo announces he's lost his job.  He has an offer now, but it's in SLC, that a long drive away from his family.  Meanwhile, Le was 13 days over due when they decided to go for a birth.  2 painful exhausting days later she gives birth to a beautiful boy.  Nearly an angel except for a repairable clef lip, Just the lip, but oh my his eyes are glorious.  I've met his face before, but I can't decide if I'm looking at one of my sons or my father.  Then my wonderful daughter-in-law takes a fall a work and totally crunches her wrist.  A plate & 7 screws later, she's in a cast for 2 weeks and while I would have love to take their  2 year old off their hands, I'm too darn old to take her on with 3 other grandkidlings.  I take the Saturday off to go to the Ren fair on a 90 degree day and my feet hurt so bad, but we had fun.  I come home to find Ly w/ car troubles, and I can't help her at all.  Prius is beyond anything I understand.  I don't understand hybred.  Meanwhile the LA saga continues.  Those loons won't do what my parents expected us all to do.  SHARE. FAIRLY.  Everyone claims they did it all, no one will see we all had a hand.  LU washed, I dried, Jo broke. Still at it.  That was my foot that ended up with the steak knife sticking out of my big toe in Buena Park as I was unloading the ugly old dishwasher. Dad told the story many times about how I let the rototiller get away from me and that's why the back fence didn't fall during any earth quakes, and why I call the rototiller in my back yard, MY rototiller.  I put up that mirrored wall in the living room.  It was my knee cap that broke while we were taking  wallpaper off the kitchen wall.  I'll be decorating a daughters wedding cake, one more time, just like Mom taught me in her kitchen so that we could build a wedding cake for another wedding that we catered, and I never got paid for the hours I put into mom's "catering company"  No, that was household money.  The same household money that paid for mom's fancy diamond ring.  How many Saturday's did I completely have the kitchen cleaned. And how many Saturday's did that kitchen look like a disaster area 6 hours later, and I still had to put 1 or 3 hours on the piano, depending upon the season.  But, I only learned piano so I could play for church, or so dad said.  Little did he know.  How many walls did I paint.  I know I did the living room at least twice.  Weeds pulls? Truck loads, despite the rose thorns. I fed 5 kids, well, because Mom insisted I cook, how many chocolate applesauce cakes have I made?   My daughters are making Chili Relish, with relish. I've got mom's recipes.  Ro loves Dad bread stick recipe, makes the best pizza dough.  No I'm not Ok, I feel abused, worn out, tired and very frustrated, and not a darn thing I can do about it.

Another Joke came to mind

Husband and wife are in a car, going down the road, and she's not happy.
"We used to sit together when we went any where. You used to put your arm around me and we'd listen to music and talk. Don't do that anymore." On and on she went and finally turned to him and said, "Don't you have anything to say?"
He took a moment and at a stop light, turned, looked at her and said "I havn't moved"

Word of Warning

IF ANYONE you know is on Vicodin, or other pain killers.MAKE THEM TAKE STOOL SOFTENERS, MAKE THEM DRINK, TAKE FLAX SEEDS, BRAN MUFFINS.  Get their gut moving.  I've just spent 5 hours in an emergency room watch my DH try and get ANYTHING to pass.  It's not a pretty picture.  It' ain't over, but the literally kicked us out, there was nothing more they could do.  I'm so frustrated, I tried to all of the above. Harpy. Don't ever call your spouse that, even when your hurt.  It still stings.

Post Surgery

Post Surgery
It's called a Resection of anterior skull base tumor.  Looked it up, NASTY. R's home and I can't tell if he's just in the grip of a pain killer lull or if he's in that bad of shape.  He still has packing WAY up in a sinus, but can now breath out of both sides of his nose.  How many years have we be fighting "allergies, irritations" etc?  He's tired, hurts and just doesn't want to move, but weirdly enough is vision is better without his glasses?????  He thinks he's going back to work in 2 week. Bet not.  Lord give me patience.....all around.

http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F70A17F73D5A15738DDDAD0A94DE405B878CF1D3

I am having a hard time believing the story is real.....but it is the New York Times.
Dad used to tell this as a joke, and the line was "Lower me down easy boys."
I was so proud of my brothers.  At my father's grave site, I knew it had to be said, but before I could even finish the word "Lower" my brother's chimed right in.  I knew Dad was laughing right beside us.  And when that eagle took off from the hill just the other side of the road at the first notes of the trumpet,  my heart knew he was pleased.
I still can't believe I finally found it. And it's posted as an event, not a joke.

Bell Family Photos

Found these again while I was cleaning house and figured I'd better get them perserved. My mother told me who they were, but didn't tell me more than that. Anyone know any more?

I need to tell a joke.Two old ladies meet on the street. It's been years since they've seen each other. "Oh my, so good to see you, how you been" goes the conversations.  The first one, out to impress, starts " Oh what a wonderful several years it's been I saw you last. My husband went back to school and became a doctor. The second gal say "Fantastic" "My son decided to follow in his footsteps, but decided to specialize in brain surgery and is one the nations finest neuro-surgeons.  "Fantastic!"  "My daughter decided that the theater was her calling and she' right now on Broadway, preparing to open a new show."  "Fantastic"  "And I've been so busy with my charity work and fund raising, I barely have time to visit" "Fantastic"  "And what have you been doing?"

Second gal says"I've been going to charm school where I've been learning to say Fantastic instead of B*&^$S)(*^%"

Pearly Gate Joke 2

The pope dies and is met at the new pearly gates by Saint Peter who's still a bit flustered and unsettled, and has to confess to the pope "Sir, I'm sorry, we had a rather interesting day and have not had the time to get your mansion ready, The biggest problem is that we couldn't decide the best way to thank you for all good work you did.  We thought we'd ask you what you would like to do for your eternities."

The pope says "I've always wanted to read the original scriptures in the original forms.  The scrolls, the tablets, would that be possible?"  

Saint Peter smiles and says "Of course, we just put your name on the heavenly library, let me show you the way."  Saint Peter leads the way to the library and settles the pope in with all the books and such around him, with a promise to check back in with him in a few hours, and leaves the pope to his joy.

Several hours later Saint Peter returns to library and finds the pope, with his head down on table, crying. He'd obviously been crying for quite some time as the floor around him wet with tears.  Alarmed, Saint Peter runs up to the Pope and asks, "Sir, what's wrong, what happened, what did you see?"  The Pope looks up and with a tear streaked face say "THE WORD IS CELEBRATE!"

 

I need to preserve my favorite "Pearly Gate" Jokes
37 East Los Angeleans show up at the pearly gates.  A bus had fallen off San Pedro Pier Saint Peter finds himself at a loss as what to do, so he asks them all to wait and moment and hussles off to the big throne.  "Ah, Sir, Ah, there are 37 East Los Angeleans at the gates and I'm not sure what to do with them.  The Good Lord looks down and smiles.  "Let them in, I have a special project I need their help with."  Saint Peter heads back to the gates, but he's back at the Big Throne less than a few moments later. "Sir, they're gone"  "The Los Angeleans?"  "No, Sir, the Pearly Gates"

Another joke pops up
A big mouth frog walks up to a mama giraffe and asks "Hey Mama Giraffe, what do you feed your baby" Mama giraffe looks down and politely replies "Oh, the finest youngest leaves from the top of the trees"  The big mouth frogs say "OH Really?"  and hops on his way.  He comes to Mama Hippo and asks "Hey Mama Hippo, what do you feed your baby?" Mama Hippo softly says "The soft reeds and grasses from the bottom of the river" "Oh Really"  and hops on his way. He comes to the river and sees Mama Alligator "Hey Mama Alligator, what do you feed your baby?" Mama Alligator says "Oh, big mouth frogs"
Our little frog says "Oh really"

Driving to Utah notes

Has it really been that long since I posted?
Lessons learned from a drive to Utah to see Grand Kids. #1 DO Not attempt to leave after an 8 hour day at work and expect to get there in one spell.  #2 Make reservation at Green River, or Grand Junction, especially on a holiday.  #3 Fast food is call fast food for a reason.  Eat it, even if you don't care for it.  It saves time.  #4 The new insulated cups with the straw are marvelous for long distance drive.  Easy to fill without spilling.Walk into the "gas station" Fill their very large cup full of ice.  Add Gador-aid to the top.  Go back to your cars and fill 2 glasses w/the ice, as they melt, they stay cold and you can see where you're going even with bifocals on.  #5 Go over your "take with" list 3 times so you don't forget things and have to leave family to get what you need to fulfil a promise to a grandchild. Two this time.
#6 Don't plan to do much, the next day.